Commenter Of The Day: Charles Van Doren Edition [Commenter Of The Day]
Charles Van Doren, son of poet and critic Mark Van Doren, was no dummy. He was also rather likable and good-looking. This is why he was the perfect man to take on the smart but rather unlikable Herb Stempel on the television quiz show Twenty One. The two battled to ties until, on a rather easy question, Stempel failed and Van Doren, eventually, walked away with a large sum of money and lots of fame. His star was to rise once again, but this time in a more ignominious fashion, when Stempel admitted to taking a dive and being part of a large conspiracy to fool the public. Van Doren eventually recovered from the events, serving as editor of the Encyclopedia Britannica and publishing a number of books. Today we mentioned that Porsche was unable to match the Nissan GT-R ring times in their own GT-R, making LionZoo wonder if Porsche wasn’t somehow gaming the system.
Perhaps Porsche should verify the ‘Ring times of all the vehicles in the world. Maybe it’ll show what they suspected all along; that the 911 is the Nurburgring champion and no other manufacturer can produce a faster car than Porsche. I mean it must be true, Greta from accounting drove all those other cars on the ‘Ring and she couldn’t get the times that the other manufacturers are claiming.
Porsche should stop whining and just stick to charging $1,000 for a clock on their ass-engined Nazi slotcars.
This would make a great movie; someone see if Hank Azaria is available.
on September 30th 2008 in 1898
If you’ve already stepped into the voting booth for 
The 
When you’re done punching through the chads in 
It may not be as glamorous as a Rolls or as fast as even a Kia Rio, but a bike will help you glide past those gas shortages already starting to appear in parts of the southern US. The only fuel is you, so you’re only limited by the meager diet of 1,200 calories a day you get from the soup kitchen and rummaging in dumpsters. Put a milk crate on the back and you’ll have space for your remaining unbartered possessions. Don’t be surprised if you see 
They can’t take your home if you run off with it in the middle of the night. In that spirit, a small RV is a great option. Easy to park in tight spaces (abandoned caves) and comparatively easy on the fuel, a classic and tiny Winnebago is the most comfortable way to enjoy your life on the road. The Winnebago Warrior, built off a Toyota truck frame, typically comes equipped with the Toyota 22R engine. This is a workhorse engine found in countless Toyota vehicles, making replacement parts easy to find. When you’re sleeping under an overpass, 
If you don’t quite have the muscles or stamina to pull-off a bike, a scooter is a reasonable alternative. There’s a reason why scooter shops are fairing better than some car dealers lately. There’s also a reason why individuals in developing nations have always looked to the scooter as an efficient, reliable and easy-to-maintain alternative to a car. Get a classic Vespa and you can pretend that your new-found poverty is just a fad. Commenter 
If it’s good enough for wartime Germany, it’s good enough for us. The original Type-1 Beetle had a nearly unparalleled product run of 58 years. It sits five people, or one person and enough canned food, barrels of gasoline and jugs of water to last about three weeks. The use of a rear-mounted engine not only creates fuel-saving airflow, it also means you can take a few bullets head-on from scavengers and keep driving. It’s definitely the way 
Your typical mass-produced mid-sized sedan is usually rather boring, but the characteristics that make these cars unappealing in a financial boom are the same ones that make them so desirable in a recession. They’re cheap. They have a low cost of operation. They’re abundant. They’re relatively roomy and safe. They’re robust enough to jump a curb or run over a pothole, which is good for a future when local governments lack the money to maintain roads. They don’t draw attention from the even-less-fortunate. Commenter 
Steal yourself a diesel generator and a 
As we pointed out yesterday, the Model T was designed to go one million miles, meaning that if you can find one with less than 500K you’ve got another 500K to go. The engine runs on gasoline, but it was also designed to run on ethanol, meaning that you can grow your own fuel on your new rooftop garden. It’s like the AK-47 of cars in that most of the pieces can be replaced by simple, hand-built parts, which saves you the trouble of fighting over spares. They’re not exceptionally fast, but how quick do you need to be to outrun someone on foot? [Photo Source: 
You may think that public transportation is just for the poor and mentally unstable, but we’ll all be poor and mentally unstable soon anyway, so you might as well learn your route. When local governments collapse the driver’s unions will step up to deliver efficient transportation… at a price. Even if the trains eventually stop running, 
Having owned a Mercedes-Benz 300D, we can attest to the indestructible nature of the W123 series cars. The five-cylinder diesel variants, especially those without turbos, are basically glorified tractor engines and will run on almost any type of fuel you can throw in them. Built from the mid 1970s until the mid 1980s, they’re tough as grit, easy to repair and, as 
We hope you like whatever is in the driveway right now, because with all the credit gone and the banks running away with your hard-earned, rapidly inflating currency, you’re not going to be able to finance a cheeseburger, let alone a new car. Those of you currently without transportation or holding onto something expensive and finicky might consider investing in cheap, reliable transportation while you can. As 
